Writing your story: How a search for family became a lifelong passion

It’s one of the most meaningful gifts you can give your family: your story, documented and preserved for generations to come. That’s exactly what Mary Turnbull, a resident at The Emerald in Elim Village Fleetwood, has created. Now, she’s helping other residents do the same.

Born in Toronto and raised in British Columbia after moving west at age nine in 1946, Mary was an only child. Her father’s struggle with addiction led to a clean break from their extended family back east — an absence that sparked a life-long desire to know where she came from and who her ancestors were.

Mary’s journey into genealogy began in the 1980’s with her maternal grandmother’s family. In those days, long before the internet made information easy to access, research meant mailing forms, and even traveling out of country in search of records.

Mary’s first visit to the FamilySearch Library in Salt Lake City is etched in her memory: “You were allowed one half hour on the computer. I signed up and the lady showed me what to do. I pressed something and all of a sudden, these papers kept flying out. I tapped her and said, ‘Something’s happening — I think I’ve broken the computer.’ She said, ‘No, dear, you haven’t. You’ve just found your family.’”

Since then, Mary has documented an extensive family tree and written a book filled with personal stories from her life. She says there’s value in sharing every story, no matter how painful. “You can’t lie about genealogy. You’ve got to put in the truth,” she says. “But if you know it’s going to hurt somebody, then you wait until they are gone before you put that in.”

Today, Mary is the Research Coordinator of the BC Genealogical Society and an active volunteer at its library in Surrey, which she calls a “gold mine of information.” She assists people from around the world in tracing their roots, and since moving to Elim, she’s inspired fellow residents to begin their own journeys. “Good or bad, I love the stories. I guess it gave me a family. And I want to give that same feeling to somebody else.”

How to preserve your past: Mary’s tips for writing and researching your history

Write your story:

Start simple. You don’t need fancy tools or perfect grammar — just a willingness to begin.

• Begin with the basics. Start with your own birthday, your parents’ names, key dates, and places.
• Use a storytelling tool. Mary used a program called StoryWorth to turn her memories into a book for her family. It emails you a weekly prompt and turns your answers into a keepsake.
• Focus on what matters. Ask yourself: What do I want to leave behind after I’m gone? What do I want them to remember?
• Build from small memories. “I remember working all summer to get a pair of saddle shoes.” That one line, Mary says, can spark a whole story.

Mary’s favourite prompts:

Need help getting the words flowing? Try answering one of these:

• What chores were you given? Did you always do them?
• How was your birthday and other holidays celebrated?
• What was your first real job and how much did you make?
• If you could talk to one person from your past, who would it be?

Trace your roots:

Tracing your family tree is easier than ever, especially with these tools Mary recommends:

• Start with what you know. Write down names, dates, and locations.
• Talk to relatives. Ask about names, occupations, stories — anything they remember. Even one memory can unlock a whole branch of your tree.
• Cross-check everything. Don’t rely on just one record. A true genealogist looks for multiple sources to confirm a name, date, or event.

Mary’s go-to tools:

• FamilySearch.org: The world’s largest free genealogy site, with downloadable records.
• Ancestry.ca and MyHeritage.com: Paid sites that let you browse before subscribing.
• Royal BC Museum: Free index search for BC Vital Statistics, including births (100 years), marriages (75 years), and deaths (20 years).
• Newspapers.com: A paid site, but Cloverdale Library offers free access.
• FindAGrave.com: A free site with grave photos and occasional obituaries.
• Library & Archives Canada: Use the online Collection Search tool to browse records and publications.